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Work on self rather than envying others

By Kapil Kakar

Why am I not better than him (Mr. X)? How is it that he (Mr. X) is so good at what he does? In this age of competition we try to answer such questions by asking ourselves Why, How and What? But most of the time we are unable to figure out the answer and we lead ourselves to believe by exclaiming, “That\'s the way it is. Life and destiny cannot change and the better a person luckier he will be”.

If you have a hidden, concealing complex from your friend/ acquaintance which troubles you, makes you feel vulnerable and negative you must face it rather than hiding from self. Don\'t be like a pigeon that closes its eyes on seeing cat and hopes that the cat will disappear. The cat never disappears but it makes a short work of pigeon by eating it. Similarly, either do away with the complexes you have by realizing your true self, or be like Mr. X. But don\'t procrastinate otherwise you will perish.

Start answering these questions. Firstly, in what ways am I better than

Mr. X? Secondly, the areas in which he is better than me, are they my areas of my interest too? And Thirdly, do I put the similar amount of efforts as he does? (Most of the time people project themselves to be casual, carefree and make us believe that they are lucky to be where they are today. But when they are alone they are always improving and working hard on themselves).

And in all likelihood your response to the first question shall be “ I am more talented and a much better person than Mr. X. I am more honest and sincere than him. But I still don\'t understand why is he better than me”.

But how can you be better than him especially when you have always envied him and hoped that someday you will be like him. So in the process you lose your individuality and become blind to your strengths and lose your way. Mr. X has also played a role by inducing illusion in you of his being carefree, as he knows you too enjoy the similar capacities and capabilities. He fears that if you discover this capacity of yours, then in no way he can remain ahead of you and sees you with an eye of contempt.

Also in all probability (the answer to second question) you will observe that the area in which Mr. X excels is not your first love (Studies is one instance where you envy the topper of the class and wish you could also have been like him but you know academics is not the area of your interest). But since he is getting success in terms of praise and attention from principal, teachers and students, you too want to be like Mr. X. Hence you strongly feel that you should follow the same and the result is you start neglecting what your first love is.

The answer to third question, if, is yes then think again. You may think that you are putting in your best, but certainly it does not deserve the best that is why you are lacking behind. To know about yourself seek the response of people around you and take the criticism positively and not aggressively. Remember, “Reactions are real”.